This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
