I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
