dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
