I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
