Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
