remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
