So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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