there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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