We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
