so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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