The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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