the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm like, not good at living.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
