Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
