It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
