yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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