I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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