So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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