I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
