Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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