Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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