i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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