My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
