I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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