But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
