Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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