She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
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I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
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These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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