We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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