My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
