Got a toothbrush?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize