Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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