Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
