Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
