I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
