Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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