On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
