Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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