No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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