I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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