I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
