The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
