I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
