yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
