All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
