Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
