Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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