redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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