you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
