I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
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based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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