Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
