I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
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I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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