The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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