And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
