I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
