he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
