Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
