"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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