I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
