I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Is it because I queefed?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize