If you die in college, do you die in real life?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
